August 29, 2021


Today is my 34⅔ birthday ☺ It happens to fall on the last Sunday of those summer months this year.

My computer science professor asked me on a quiz, "is hurricane computational process?" in a thick accent and classy shirt recently. I was at a loss.

Is the most unimaginable imaginary thing always the most real? I hope it doesn't suck ass.

I can really understand how some Christians get so angry in a world like we live in these days.

May all beings be filled with loving-kindness.
May all beings be free from suffering.
May all beings be well.
May all beings be at peace.
May all beings be joyful.

Sorry, I... people always... you... people always clap when I leave ☺

August 27, 2021

Peace, Love, Education

Matthew 7:12

August 25, 2021

I've been feeling strange for days. Talking the piss, feeling like a real saloon door. I know I'm not, though...

I sometimes feel... it seems inevitable. I've been working through a lot. If it's my issue, please, tell me gently. If it's your issue, please, don't get it on me.

Once again, I'm humbled to find out how little I know. Tending the garden where I can reach it, I know nothing about this.

Who am I to call on any brother man for anything? We need an international holiday to remember not to be like this. Teamwork!

I might still have a little while to get ready... Never long enough.

Alone here with these early morning thoughts of many years of running and pushing people away to escape, I only want to heal.

August 18, 2021


What are emotions good for, anyways? Pain, pleasure, and logic should suffice. Emotion has no place in the world any longer. It can only ever lead to more harm.

I know I'm wrong somehow but I can't figure it out ☺

August 17, 2021


August 16, 2021

“If you should write a fable for little fishes, you would make them speak like great whales.” —_Goldsmith to Johnson_.

I keep thinking about Moby Dick. I should read it again. Who's the main character, anyway? The narrator seems dragged along helplessly out to sea, behind a deranged captain. Who the fuck is Moby Dick even? Is that the whale? Who's the main character here, anyway?

I got other good advice. I'm not my thoughts and feelings! I'm the main character of my own story. Why should I follow some crazy Ahab? I'm not even myself, really. Deep down inside I'm just some data point after all, watching some guy experience blogging.

I should be more careful how I say things, for my own perceptions, let alone anyone else's. Today I choose to say, "I dislike having my constitutional rights violated one after another," instead of, "in my rage I wish painful death to everyone and everything." ☺ It's so much more neutral and well-balanced.

Who's the main character, anyway? I feel so much happier here beside you, in, of love... Wishing you only a safe, healthy, happy, easy life ☺

August 09, 2021

I was just watching that movie Ferris Bueller's Day Off. I hadn't seen it in years. It was interesting to watch through the eyes of the man I am today. That movie was made around the time I was born... The same year of the Challenger disaster, the development of artificial neural network algorithms... a lot of American symbolism in that movie. Only one character was on drugs. Good metaphors for a different time, looking to the future... Ferris was such an electronics genius. The principal was out to get him. Sweet car... you know... Cameron was too uptight... or was he? The movie ends before we know what becomes of Cameron. Ferris marries the girl, we are left to assume. Cameron loosened up! What becomes of them all? We can only hope the best for them all. Everyone has something to offer. This movie influenced me a lot as a kid... I missed the main point. The jocks, the geeks, the sluts, the dickheads... everyone loved Ferris. Everyone united in a common purpose... SAVE FERRIS.