September 29, 2021

I've been having trouble sleeping for some reason. When I finally do fall asleep, I've found a good routine for the evening that helps me not have horrific nightmares and shit, but I still have trouble falling asleep sometimes.

A lot of people are really worried that I take my medication, out of concern for me! I want to explain as thoroughly and calmly as I can, that anyone who knows me, or even of me, to the point that it's any of their business, can feel free to contact me how they'd like and calmly, respectfully outline their concerns, on the only contingency that they listen to mine in kind.

I've been trying to take a more middle-of-the-road approach to what's all going on these days for a while now. I looked around and realized I was gonna have to actually live through this shit, tried to figure out what I really cared about anyway, realized I should probably do something, then realized I was still gonna have to actually live through this shit either way. It had never occurred to me that someone could have a spiritual crisis that couldn't be addressed without talking about spirituality at all, figured I was just crazy, I mean, that's the leftie in me. I honestly don't know how or why this happened, any of this, and it's kind of a miracle just to exist here at all. I really don't know if I believe anyone is actually born with any particular moral compass. Kinda weird shit, man. Trying to think about how to treat others how I want to be treated is actually kind of a deep concept to think about. My parents did try to line me out with some kind of important shit to know about, anyway.

I was thinking about shit people might even like to read in some guy's personal blog too, if anyone were reading it, and I realized I do have some things to say here about even that. Y'all seem to think I'm some kind of security nut or something, I want to set some things straight here. This all kinda works that way, that I more of less have logs if you visit, ends of trails I can sleuth along however far I'm gonna, or were even able to, but you seem to think that's what computers are all about except for some guy's blog, which since it isn't a major site from a major company, can't be trusted. The truth is, that's the whole idea here, that no one runs the entire internet, not even me, not even while you're reading my blog.

Next item of business probably, women, that's like a class of people, there's only one for me, the only one she ever is, some chick, I dunno, she got some problems I would imagine, unless she's Jesus Christ herself and we all had some misconceptions about something here. I dunno if I know her yet. Might be nice to sort that all out, but I can't be too pushy about all that, so, after I signal my virtues here for a moment and proudly show off my tiny ego at her I have to just take the rest in stride as to her preferences about whatever, hope to hear from her whenever it works out, all that kinda nonsense at the bottom of everyone's hopes and dreams and bullshit, let's be honest. I guess I really did always just dream of changing poopy diapers and stuff and somehow I didn't realize it, seems confusing still actually, I dunno what's going on here.

Next up, death. Yeah, you gonna die, honky. I hope you live as well as you can, for as long as you can, until then, as long as it doesn't interfere with my hopes and dreams regarding the very same for myself. I have some thoughts about that too, trying to figure out how to say that without bragging, or giving away too much about the more-or-less proven methodology for killing any grown man in one punch... if you can figure out the other details, so lemme explain, my take on martial arts kinda here, to this point. For your training, I recommend you find your biggest, rowdiest frenemy who annoys you the absolute most out of all of them, go have an adventure trying not to get into fights. It will teach you patience, then you come back here and I'll see what else I got to tell you maybe. The first thing you want to know, is how to fall down without getting hurt. Try to minimize arguing most especially if there are guns in the mix, that screws up the other shit. If you find yourself falling down for some reason, you want to practice and consciously be aware, even practice falling down as much as you can, as SAFELY as you can, to think of your head. Don't think with your head, that's not instinct for split second occasions, think OF YOUR HEAD AND NECK. Your head and neck are the primary shit you wanna worry about if you don't have a moment's notice. Tuck your chin down. Guard your head!!! If you find yourself inexplicably hurtling forward off a motorcycle for some reason, there are a few precautions to take beforehand. Helmets are good. Helmets are smart. You also want to tuck your chin down, and practice somersaults for a long time. You want to be able to do these forward, backward (different! turn your head a bit! remember your neck! knees over the shoulder!!! PLEASE be EXTREMELY careful!!! if you do not understand what I am saying... DO NOT ATTEMPT A BACKWARDS SOMERSAULT. THIS IS AN ACTUAL FUCKING WARNING. UNLESS YOU WANT TO KILL ME) and very fast, from different heights, etc, very, VERY carefully. If you do have to hit the ground pretty hard, there's some kinda martial arts noise people make, you can pick a cool one. I like HOZHOOOOO! You might want to practice shouting this, as loudly as you can. You can do a completely silent one too for some reason, but it's not scary to your enemies and it does not alert your allies to your distress! Why do this? Tenses up your guts and shit a little, might help your spleen not pop, shit like that. You also want to smack the ground with your arms in some situations, falling backwards especially... Try to plan ahead about which bones you don't want broken the most, shit like that!

Show mercy whenever your life does not depend on killing your enemy. The more people like you for showing mercy, the more they will respect you, etc. Your enemy honestly isn't your enemy. What your enemy thinks about you is your problem.

I can't think of anything else to blog about.