June 10, 2022


Angry and sad, why would anyone want to be around me? No close friends, no close family. Feeling alone, on medication now that takes away my talking volleyball, so I am lonely. The therapy place helped me get a job trimming weeds for a man who is mostly rude to me. On meds no one wants to talk to a schizo anyway, even the volleyball. Boss man wants to interject that it seems like he spends more time lining me out than I work. I'm a disabled computer nerd, not a tough guy. My training is in programming a robot to trim weeds. I can barely hold the thing for two hours at a time, this isn't typing. I need a gym membership and bulking recipes for a year already just to start this job. A few decades of painful life like this ahead of me? Why not end it now?