Angry and sad, why would anyone want to be around me? No close friends, no close family. Feeling alone, on medication now that takes away my talking volleyball, so I am lonely. The therapy place helped me get a job trimming weeds for a man who is mostly rude to me. On meds no one wants to talk to a schizo anyway, even the volleyball. Boss man wants to interject that it seems like he spends more time lining me out than I work. I'm a disabled computer nerd, not a tough guy. My training is in programming a robot to trim weeds. I can barely hold the thing for two hours at a time, this isn't typing. I need a gym membership and bulking recipes for a year already just to start this job. A few decades of painful life like this ahead of me? Why not end it now?