June 28, 2022

I. I strongly stand by my right as an American citizen to convert to Islam, regardless of not wanting to do so, nor having the intention to do so. The Government may hereby consider this blog post a petition for a redress of grievances.

II. I stand by my right to bear arms, necessary for the security of a free State, regardless of not wanting to live in a world where I would ever have to do so.

III. I stand by my right to never be called upon to quarter soldiers in my home, but I would rather do so than leave them homeless.

IV. I stand by my right to be secure in my person, my home, my papers, and my effects. I got expelled in ninth grade for compromising my school's computer systems, and it did me a lot of good as a human being.

V. I stand by my right to never be held to answer a second time for any crime of which I have been wrongfully accused.

VI. I stand by my right for this heinous bullshit to not drag on any further. There's precedent for stealing a DVD in daily life that isn't online. There's precedent for holding people accountable for disturbing the peace. You have fallen down on your jobs.

VII. I'd stick a twenty in the yellow waistband of your biohazardous underwear right now if it got you to fuck off with your microphones right on up all the way out of my hairy butt. You voyeuristic homosexual fucks.

VIII. I stand by my right for this cruelty towards me to cease immediately.

IX. I stand by your right to link me to your blog back.

X. I stand by State's rights, too. After my own.