July 24, 2022

I am my own best advocate

The other day I woke up grumpy. I was planning to quit smoking tobacco that day and quickly realized it just wasn't the right day. I got myself out of my grumpiness, talked to some people, did some things for myself, and felt much better for the rest of the day.

When I first woke up, however, I made a bit of a scene in a chatroom. I did notice that the county Sherriffs were hanging out by my place a lot throughout the day and even gave me a friendly wave later in the day. In the chatroom I did say, "if surveillance capitalists want to scoop me up in their dragnet, I want to build bombs. Fair is fair."

I didn't mean monitoring chatrooms, that makes perfect sense to me. I meant violating the law to break into my personal computer systems without my authorization. Monitoring social media activity and responding to disturbances of the peace makes perfect sense to me, I applaud that kind of responsiveness. Breaking into computer systems the same as criminals do, however, is still a crime. When law enforcement does that kind of behavior just because criminals do it, they have made themselves also criminals.

If someone breaks into computer systems in an unauthorized manner, breaking the law, should they go to prison for it? Maybe, maybe not. When human beings do enough damage to the rest of the human world, the way society behaves is to take away their security, freedom, and sometimes even their life. If someone breaks in and reports the problem, however, I would be inclined not only to forgive the crime, but to pay the perpetrator money for helping me fix the problem.

When I believe everything I think inside my own mind, despite most of it being incorrect, I can't interact with the rest of the world properly. I get the diagnosis of insanity, I go in for help, I get a drug I take daily to help me interact properly with the rest of the human world. If the rest of the human world believes everything they commonly think, despite most of it being incorrect, they are delusional, mentally ill.

The house I live in was built by a blacksmith, my great-great-uncle. I basically live inside of a historic landmark. It's pretty awesome. He decorated the inside with his own wrought ironwork. Some of it is pointy, but they aren't meathooks. They're horseshoes for luck, decorations, beautiful craftsmanship. People come in here to install internet or do plumbing, and I wonder what they think more than I should. I don't know what other people are thinking, I only know what I'm thinking. Are people afraid of me?

The Bible tells us hundreds of times not to live in fear, anger, and negativity. I have been a person who lived that way, so I understand the mentality. It's not how I choose to live today. As an American, I value my right to convert to Christianity or even Islam, though I have no intention of ever doing so, not at this point. I will tell you who I really am.

One day I opened my Bible, the bookmark was on the cover page of the New Testament. A spider was sitting there and crawled out. I had a problem with spiders inside my house, even sometimes biting me occasionally. In the Old Testament, spiders are a symbol for focused hard work. A spider works hard on what is in front of it to do, accomplishing each task with focus. Spiders are rewarded for it, living in the highest corners of even the palaces of kings. In the New Testament, spiders wove a web of protection over the mouth of the cave where the Savior was put after being taken down off the cross to later be resurrected. I handled my spider problem pretty well by picking up each spider one by one, taking them outside unharmed. My cats did get some of them. That's who I really am, and I am rewarded for it. Most people have to operate on faith, they either get to believe God exists or believe that God doesn't exist. I get to have the reward of God showing Himself to me, so I don't need to have faith or shaky belief. I get to know it for a fact.

My writing, to me, is my writing, my imagination. Some of the stories I put on here are horror stories. The Bible does tell us not to live in baseless fear. You can come knock on my door any time, I would be happy to consider you a friend, and even show you this historic landmark I call home, even if you don't have a warrant, or even if you're a homeless starving criminal, and we treat each other with basic decency, dignity, and respect.